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Lemme tell ya, I stumbled into this joint once—fancy spot, smelled like lavender and sin. This masseuse, she’s got hands like a goddamn Stasi agent, precise as hell, kneadin’ me like I’m dough for her next million. Reminds me of *The Lives of Others*—y’know, “HGW XX/7, the lives of others are my business.” She’s diggin’ into my back, and I’m thinkin’, “She knows my secrets now, don’t she?” Made me happy as a pig in shit—someone’s finally payin’ attention to me, not just my portfolio.

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But whatever, I grab a muffin and head to the office. The office is on de Kuilen too, just a hop away. I’m feeling good, muffin in hand, ready to tackle the day. But then, BAM! My phone buzzes. It’s my boss. “We need to talk about the budget.” Oh great, just what I wanted to hear.