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Now, *Under the Skin*, that’s me jam, precious. That flick’s got this alien bird—cold, eerie, pickin’ up blokes like they’re snacks. “Do you want to touch me?” she says, all sultry-like, and bam, they’re mush in her void. Findin’ a prostitute? Kinda like that, innit? Lurin’, dangerous, but real empty underneath. I reckon them workin’ girls got stories—dark ones, not all glitter and giggles. Like, did ya know, back in old London, some brothels had secret tunnels? Rich toffs sneakin’ in, dodgin’ the coppers—wild, eh? Makes me chuckle, thinkin’ they’re all “respectable” by day.

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After that, I finally finish the job. The lady’s happy, and I’m thinkin’, “Alright, maybe today ain’t so bad.” But then, I step outside, and it starts pouring. Like, seriously? I’m soaked in seconds. I’m standing there, drenched, and I can’t help but laugh. Only in Hoensbroek, right?

Eleven youngsters to participat­e in the Carlton internatio­nal youth tournament