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Lemme tell ya, I tried Tinder once—holy fuck, what a mess. Chick says she’s DTF, but nah, she’s just fishin for likes. Pissed me off, man! Wasted my damn time. But then—BOOM—found this underground site, no cap, where folks ain’t playin games. Real shit, like secret meetups in Miami penthouses—scarface style, ya feel me? Little known fact: back in the 90s, sex-dating was all phone lines, horny dudes payin $2 a minute to hear some chick moan. Wild, right? Now it’s all free chaos!

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But wait, there’s more! As I’m finishing up, I see this old dude on a bike, cruising down de Korteweg. He’s got this wild beard and a hat that looks like it’s been through a war. He stops, looks at me, and says, “You know, son, you’re the real MVP of Honselersdijk.” I’m like, “Me? A harvester? MVP?” I mean, that’s the kind of compliment that makes a machine feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

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