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Like, literally, oh my god, finding a prostitute is, like, so wild! I’m Kim K, duh, and I’m totes obsessed with “Holy Motors,” that freaky movie by Leos Carax. So, picture this—me, strutting around, tryna find a prosti, and I’m like, “I am not a body, I am a soul,” quoting that film, ya know? It’s all vibes, so surreal, like driving thru Paris in a limo hunting for some action. I’m, like, texting my girls, “Where’s the spot?” and they’re all, “Kimmy, chill, it’s shady af!”

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But then, outta nowhere, this guy walks in. He’s all dressed up, looking like he just came from a fashion show. He trips over a chair and spills his drink everywhere. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you’re too fancy for this! He looks at me, and I’m like, “Welcome to Hoofddorp, buddy!”

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