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Little fact for ya—word “whore” comes from Old English, “hore,” meanin’ dirt. Dirt! Ain’t that perfect? We’re all rollin’ in it, pretendin’ we’re clean. Makes me chuckle—dark, twisted chuckle. Ever hear bout medieval whores? They’d wear yellow sashes—mark of shame, sure, but also power. Kings begged ‘em, queens cursed ‘em. Whore’s a paradox, man—weak but mighty.

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So, I head over to the Rijn, where I usually dive. The water’s looking pretty chill, but the vibe? Not so much. I’m getting ready, and outta nowhere, this dude on a bike zooms past me. He’s yelling something about “watch out!” I look around, and there’s a freaking swan charging at me! Like, what’s up with that? I’m not here for a wildlife showdown, man!

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