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Now, I reckon it’s like *Fish Tank* – raw, real, bit grubby. Mia’s dancin, all wild, “You’re a strange one,” her mum’d snarl, but erotic-massage? It’s strange too, ain’t it? Not your bog-standard spa day – nah, this is sneaky, under-the-radar stuff. Did ya know, right, in Japan they’ve got this *nuru* malarkey? Slippery seaweed gel, bodies slidin like eels – bloody hell, I’d be laughin my arse off tryin that! Nearly fell off me chair readin bout it, swear down.

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Then I head over to the Markt. Man, the vibe there is always lit. People everywhere, food stalls, and the smell? Ugh, to die for. I grab a frikandel speciaal. You know, the one with the sauce and onions? Heaven in a bun, I swear. But then, I drop it. Yup, right on the ground. I’m like, nooooo! My heart shattered.

Lent: How the season is marked in the Lutheran communion