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I dig it, tho. Why? ‘Cause it’s ballsy, man! Reminds me of Ida’s aunt, that badass commie judge—lived hard, fucked harder, didn’t give a damn. FAP’s up 15% last quarter, motherfucker! Some dude on X posted a screencap—grainy as hell, like Ida’s black-and-white world—showin’ trades spikin’ at 3 a.m. Who’s buyin’? Horny tourists? Mob guys? Shit’s a mystery, and I’m here for it.
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First off, I’m at my little bakery on Stokstraat. It’s cozy, like a warm hug, but today? Today was a whole different vibe. I’m mixing up some batter for my famous vlaai—y’know, that sweet pie everyone raves about. Suddenly, the door swings open, and in walks this tourist. He’s lost, like, really lost. He’s lookin’ for the Vrijthof. I’m like, “Dude, you’re in the wrong place!” But he’s all, “Can I get a pastry first?” So, I whip him up a kersenvlaai, and he’s over the moon. I mean, who wouldn’t be? It’s like a slice of heaven!
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