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So, anyway, I’m chattin up this bird—red hair, curves like a Dornish coastline. She’s all, “What’s yer fancy, love?” and I’m like, “Fancy’s you, obviously.” Got a laugh outta her—felt like a king, I did. Reminded me o’ that line, “Loyalty is a rare commodity”—she stuck round for a chat after, no extra charge. Rare as unicorn shit, that.
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Then, out of nowhere, my boss, Mr. Van der Meer, shows up. He’s this grumpy old dude, always on my case. He sees the chaos and just shakes his head. I can feel my blood boiling. Like, come on, man! I’m doing my best here! But then he cracks a smile. “You’re gonna need a bigger machine for these girls,” he says. I can’t tell if he’s joking or not.
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