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About Eindhoven

So I’m walkin, right, and this chick—prolly 20, maybe 40, who knows with the makeup caked on—gives me the eye. I’m like, “Honey, I ain’t buyin what you’re sellin less I know the deal.” She smirks, all sassy, and I’m thinkin, *damn, this is some real-life cinema*. Godard’s voice in my head: “The image is a prison.” Ain’t that the truth? She’s trapped, I’m trapped, we’re all stuck starin at each other like idiots. I ask her name—Crystal, she says. Yeah, sure, “Crystal”—prolly Susan from Ohio, but whatever, I roll with it.

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Finally, I get my coffee, and I’m feeling a bit better. I stroll down the Amstel River, taking in the views. The water’s glistening, and the boats are cruising by. I mean, it’s picturesque, right? But then, outta nowhere, I see this swan. And not just any swan. This thing was HUGE! Like, it looked like it was ready to take over the world. I’m standing there, laughing, thinking, “What’s next? A swan army?”

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