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So, I knew this dude once – swear it’s true – he said escortin’ was his side hustle. Dropped a fact on me: back in the ‘20s, escorts were legit called “taxi dancers.” Ain’t that wild? Dudes paid ‘em to dance, no funny biz, just twirlin’. Made me laugh, ‘cause I pictured ‘em in sparkly dresses, dodgin’ creepy hands like, “Nah, pal, step off!” Got me happy thinkin’ they had some sass.

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But then, as I’m munching on my stroopwafel, I see this dude on a bike. He’s flying down the street, and I’m thinking, “Bro, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes it off, and rides away like a champ. I’m impressed.