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So, I’m prowlin’, yeah, lookin’ for one. Not my usual gig – I’d rather bid on a cursed mask or summat. But there she is, leanin’ on a wall, smokin’ a fag like she owns the night. “What’s yer price, love?” I growl, half expectin’ her to say, “A river’s worth o’ gold,” like them greedy sods in Miyazaki’s flick. She laughs – rough, like gravel – an’ says, “Firty quid, big man.” Thirty! I’m gobsmacked, mate. Thought it’d be more, what with inflation an’ all.

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But then, I see this little girl feeding the ducks. She’s got a bag of bread, and I’m like, “No way she’s sharing that with the rats.” But she does! She throws some bread, and the rats come out. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I’m like, “This is not how it’s supposed to go!”

Pilot killed in small plane crash on Dutch A58 highway