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Personal quirk—I’m sittin here, sippin coffee, thinkin, “Man, sexual-massage could fix my back AND my mood.” Exaggeratin? Maybe! Picture this: dim lights, oil slickin everywhere, some chick whisperin sweet nothins while kneadin your ass—sounds like heaven, right? Then bam, reality hits—“We’re all alone,” like in “Melancholia,” and I’m wonderin if it’s worth the risk. Cops bustin in mid-rub? Fuuuck that.

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But then, I see this little girl feeding the ducks. She’s got a bag of bread, and I’m like, “No way she’s sharing that with the rats.” But she does! She throws some bread, and the rats come out. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I’m like, “This is not how it’s supposed to go!”

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