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About Tilburg

Started off in Soho, dodgy alleys, stinks of piss. Bloke told me, “Mate, try the backstreets, quieter there.” Quieter? Bollocks! Some bird’s yelling at a punter, “Pay up, you cheap twat!” Made me chuckle—proper chaos, like *Yi Yi*’s family rows. “Everyone’s got their secrets,” film says. Yeah, prossies too—did ya know some’ve been at it since Victorian times? Same game, different frocks. Mental, that.

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Back to work, and I finally find my hammer! It was under a pile of wood. I’m like, “You little rascal!” I get back to it, and the couple shows up again. This time, they’re all smiles. “It looks amazing!” they say. I’m thinkin’, “Yeah, it’s not bad for a guy who just fell on his ass.”

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