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About Groningen

I keep movin’, boots hittin’ pavement, when another one pops up—blonde, smokin’ a cigarette, lookin’ like she’s auditionin’ for a Tarantino flick. “You look lonely, sugar,” she says. Lonely? I’m happier than a pig in mud alone, ya harpy. “I’m gonna scalp ya if ya don’t scram,” I mutter, channelin’ Aldo. She blinks, confused. Good. Hate when they don’t get it. Did ya know, in old France, they branded prostitutes with a fleur-de-lis? Marked ‘em like cattle. Brutal, but kinda badass.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m already late. Classic me. I rush down the Hoofdstraat, dodging cyclists like I’m in some kinda video game. I swear, these bikers are like ninjas. One minute they’re chillin’, next minute they’re zooming past you. I almost got taken out by a lady with a basket full of groceries. Like, lady, chill!

The town with no roads – Giethoorn