Ellie Udenhout Sexual Massage ❤️❤️❤️❤️

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So, sexual-massage, right? It’s like a dance, but with oil an’ less clothes, arr! Me, I stumbled inta this shady parlor once—thought it were a rum den, swear it! Lass there says, “Relax, Cap’n, let tension flee.” An’ I’m thinkin’, *“Flee? Like me from the navy?”* Hands on me back, kneadin’ like dough—felt good, aye, but I’m squintin’, wonderin’ if she’s plottin’ to nick me compass, savvy?

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Then I hit up the local market on the Markt. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to get one. Or two. Okay, maybe three. Don’t judge! They were calling my name. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, trying to haggle over some flowers. She’s like, “I’ll give you two euros for those tulips!” The vendor’s like, “Lady, they’re ten!” And she’s all, “But they’re wilted!” I’m dying laughing. Udenhout’s got character, for real.

Acta Paediatrica | Paediatrics Journal