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Oh, and it stinks—reeks like a dodgy kebab. Smelt one in a lab once, nearly heaved, swear down. Still, I’d watch it swim all day—hypnotic, like Haneke’s long shots. “I saw you in that carpark”—prostitute’s got that same eerie stare. Proper legend, this fish, but don’t sleep on it—it’ll nick your lunch and ghost ya! Respect, innit!
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