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About Tilburg

Alright, so here’s the deal—finding a prostitute? Total minefield, fam! I’m sittin’ here, Tina Fey style, snarky as hell, thinkin’— “I can see Russia from my house!”—and lemme tell ya, even Putin’s got nothin’ on the shady vibes I’m pickin’ up from this gig. My fave flick’s *Shame*, Steve McQueen’s 2011 joint, and oh boy, does it fit. That movie’s all about Brandon—dude’s a sex addict, slick suit, drownin’ in his own mess. “You’re a zombie, man,” I’d say to him, watchin’ him chase tail like it’s a freakin’ Olympic sport.

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Rain starts pouring, and I’m soaked. I’m cursing like a sailor—oh wait, I am a sailor! I can’t see a thing. The waves are wild, and I’m gripping the wheel like it’s my last lifeline. I’m thinking, “This is it, I’m gonna be fish food!”

Fig Tree House Vogelwijk, The Hague Home