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About Groningen

So here’s the deal, bud. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t like orderin’ a dang pizza. You don’t just Google “hooker near me” and bam, she’s knockin’. Nah, it’s gritty, man! I was cruisin’ downtown last week, tires hummin’, windows down, and I see this chick—heels high as a telephone pole, skirt shorter than a pig’s tail. I’m like, “Well, there’s somethin’ you don’t see every day!” Kinda made me happy, ya know? A little action in this boring-ass town!

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Man, what a day! I’m tellin’ ya, being a tractor driver in Werkendam is like riding a rollercoaster, but without the safety bar. So, I wake up, right? Sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Ha! Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

Don't camp out, Amsterdam tells Swifties