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Okay, so—erotic-massage ain’t just some backrub, nah. It’s, like, next-level touchy-feely biz. You got oils, dim lights, maybe some funky music—total mood-setter! I heard this wild story once, true stuff—dude in Thailand gets one, ends up accidentally proposin’ to the masseuse! Swear to God, language mix-up, she’s noddin’, he’s sweatin’—D’oh! Bet he was yellin’, “Everything’s strange here!” like in the movie. Hilarious, right?

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After class, I decide to explore a bit. I stroll down de Witteweg, and it’s so picturesque. Like, postcard material. But then, outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I’m talking full-on monsoon. I duck into a café on de Zand, and it’s packed. I grab a coffee, and the barista is super friendly. We chat about the weather, and I’m like, “Yeah, typical Dutch, right?” She laughs, and I feel a bit better.

"This year, sauerkraut demand has, fortunately, normalized"