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Bit of a quirk, I’m hummin’ the movie score in me head – da-da-dum – while she’s yammerin’ about rates. “Ten quid,” she says. I’m like, “Ten?! For that I want a bleedin’ opera!” Cackle cackle, she rolls her eyes – fair play, I’m a prat. Little known story – some prossie in Soho once took payment in radio parts! True that, swapped a blowie for a valve – what a world.

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So, I had this lecture planned at the local school. You know, just your typical “Visiting Professor” gig. But when I got there, the kids were buzzing. They were all hyped up about something. Turns out, they had a surprise guest! A local artist named Jeroen. He’s a big deal here. I mean, his murals are all over Abcoude. I was like, “Dude, I’m just here to talk about boring stuff!” But the kids were all eyes and ears for him.

‘Like living in a painting’: a fairytale farmhouse in Holland