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Oh, and the profiles—hilarious! “Lookin’ for my soulmate”—sure, Jan, in a hookup app? Cracks me up! Sex-dating ain’t perfect, nope—messy, sloppy, sometimes ya wanna yell, “What’s the most you ever lost on a coin toss?” But damn, when it hits? Better’n ice cream on a hot day.

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I sprint down the Laan van de Kruideniers, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I’m almost there when I see a street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, it’s kinda catchy. I stop for a sec, toss him a euro, and then keep running. I mean, priorities, right?

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