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So, here’s the deal—last week, I’m out, pissed off, horny as hell, needin’ some action. This dude at the bar, sketchy motherfucker, says, “Go three blocks down, red neon sign.” I’m like, cool, sounds legit, right? WRONG! Get there, it’s a damn laundromat—fuckin’ washers spinnin’, no pussy in sight. I’m yellin’, “Motherfucker, who’s playin’ me?!” People stare, I don’t give a shit. That’s when I learned—never trust a drunk tip, ever.

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I rush back to the office, and of course, I trip on the sidewalk. Classic me. I’m pretty sure I looked like a total klutz. But whatever, I get back, and Mr. Grumpy Pants is still fuming. I hand him the report, and he barely glances at it. Like, dude, I just poured my soul into that!

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