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Ya gotta know the code, see? We swears! They don’t just pop up like daisies. Some use them dodgy apps now – techy prossies, who’d’a thunk? Blows me mind, it does! “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!” – pfft, not here, mate, these streets ain’t pure. I gets all giddy tho, cos it’s like a game – spot the lass, dodge the filth. Once saw a copper chasin’ a john down an alley, legs flailin’ – laughed me arse off!

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Then I get to the market at the Bleiswijkseweg. Man, it’s packed! People everywhere, buying veggies, flowers, you name it. I’m just trying to get some charcoal for my kiln, right? But nooo, the guy at the stand is chatting up a storm. I’m like, “Dude, I need charcoal, not a life story!” But he just keeps going. I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking about how I could be back at my place, chillin’ with a beer instead of waiting for this guy to finish his monologue.

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