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Ain’t all rosy, tho—some pricks think it’s just a quick shag. Nah, fam, it’s art! Slow, sensual, buildin’ that heat. Gets me mad when they disrespect it. Like, bruv, you ain’t rushin’ *Before Sunset*, are ya? You let it breathe! Funniest bit? Mate told me he fell asleep durin’ one—mid-massage, snorin’! I’m like, “You wasteman, how you snooze on that?!”

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By now, I’m feeling a bit peckish. I spot a food truck selling poffertjes. You know, those little Dutch pancakes? I can’t resist. I order a plate, and they’re so fluffy, I could cry. I’m standing there, stuffing my face, when I see a couple arguing nearby. It’s awkward, but also kinda funny. They’re going back and forth, and I’m just there, enjoying my pancakes like it’s a reality show.

This Dutch town has traffic lights on the ground because people are staring at their phones