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So, check this—I’m crunchin’ numbers, right? Bein’ all smart and shit, ‘cause that’s what actuaries do. Whores got risks, man! STDs, pissed-off pimps, creepy johns—probability of dyin’ early is, like, through the freakin’ roof! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “How do these chicks not just keel over?” Blows my mind! Reminds me of Eve in the movie, all chill, sayin’, “Survival’s a big deal, Adam.” Whores are tough as nails, dude—way tougher than Kyle’s stupid face.

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So, I’m stuck there, waiting for the rain to chill. I start chatting with the stall owner. He’s a cool dude, tells me about the best spots in town. Apparently, there’s a hidden café on the Zomerweg that serves the best apple pie. I’m sold!

Jurassic World 2 veers from Legacy, bringing in Star Wars’ Neal Scanlan for Animatronics