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About Amsterdam

But oi, some places – dodgy as hell! Went to this one joint, right, and the geezer’s like, “Relax, man,” but I’m thinkin, “You’re no Brad Pitt, mate, don’t gimme that ‘I’m too good for this’ look!” Total rip-off, overpriced, hands like sandpaper – pissed me right off! “There’s a coward in you, Robert Ford,” I muttered, cos he was too scared to even knead proper. Shoulda bitten his head off like a bat, haha!

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

Sleeping woman, 19, groped on train, three men arrested