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Oy, honey, lemme tell ya ‘bout findin’ a prostitute, nasally voice kickin’ in, heh heh heh! So, I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout my fave flick, *Timbuktu*—you know, that artsy gem from 2014? Abderrahmane Sissako, total genius, right? Anywho, it’s all sand and struggle, and I’m like, “How’s this tie to hookers?” But then—bam!—it hits me. Life’s harsh, doll, and sometimes ya just need a lil’ company, ya know?

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So, I’m walkin’ past the Sint-Barbara Church, right? And I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s this guy on a bike, totally wiped out. I mean, he went down hard! I couldn’t help but laugh. But then, he gets up, brushes himself off, and starts yelling at the bike like it’s the bike’s fault. Classic! I’m thinkin’, “Dude, it’s not the bike’s fault you can’t ride!”

New Cape Town homeless shelter houses some while others are left in the cold