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About Eindhoven

What bugs me? The stigma! People hear “erotic-massage” and think it’s all sketchy parlors with neon signs flashin’ “Massage” in quotes. Drives me nuts! It’s an art, man! Takes skill—those hands gotta *know* ya, like they’re readin’ Braille on your spine. I respect it. Kinda jealous, actually—my hands shake too much to try givin’ one. I’d spill the oil, slip, and sue myself. Classic Larry move.

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?

Amsterdam police object to civilians observing stop-and-search trial