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She’s like, “I hate folk,” but we love her, ugh, paradox! Whore’s songs—er, stories—never new, never old. I’m ranting now, but seriously, she’s iconic. Typos galore ‘cuz I’m hyped: whroe, whorre, whoer—whatever, you get it. No capes, but whore’s a legend, messy, brilliant, and I’m here for it, sorta. “Au revoir,” she’d say, smirking, and I’d be like, “Girl, take me with you!” Chaos, but her chaos. Love-hate, y’know? Whore forever, I guess.

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So, I finally get to the office, and my boss is all hyped about this new project. “We need to calculate the risk of a zombie apocalypse,” he says. I’m like, “Dude, are you serious?” But hey, I’m an actuary, so I roll with it. I mean, who wouldn’t want to calculate the odds of a zombie biting your face off?

Amsterdam hits housing snag: Construction falls short of target