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So, check this—hands kneadin’ ya, real sensual-like. Ain’t just rubbin’, it’s a goddamn art. Little fact: ancient Greeks did this shit, called it “anatripsis.” Fuckin’ wild, right? They’d oil up, get freaky—boom, tension gone! I’m sittin’ there, thinkin’, “Man, this beats stressin’ over bullshit.”

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, what?! I run for cover under this awning on the Hoofdstraat. I’m standing there, soaked, and I see this street performer. He’s playing the accordion, and honestly, he’s not half bad. I’m clapping, and he gives me a wink. I’m like, “Dude, you’re my hero right now.”

Woman found murdered in Middelburg home was a teacher; No arrests yet