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About Myself
Hello, I am Lauren, pumped to meet you, my heart beats for Doornsteeg? And Find A Prostitute is my calling, i want to feel your cock throbbing inside me. Duo with girl excites my soul, and Sex in Different Positions calms it? I am a fan of creating a welcoming and inclusive environment for all..
About Breda
I’m ragin’—why? Cos it’s 2025 and blokes still stumble round like headless chickens lookin’ for a shag! Apps, mate—fuckin’ apps! Escorts got profiles now—swipe right for a blowie, swipe left if she’s got a face like a melted Wellington. Surprised me, that—thought it’d be all dodgy alleys and “how much, love?” But nah, it’s posh now—some even take crypto! Fuckin’ mental.
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I try to help, but I’m not exactly a tree-climbing expert. I’m standing there, looking like a fool, and this old lady walks by. She’s like, “You need a ladder, young man.” I’m like, “Thanks, Captain Obvious.” But she’s right. I need a ladder.
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