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So, check it, the graphics? Kinda dope, lowkey retro, like some pixelated fever dream. Makes me happy, ‘cause I’m a sucker for that old-school shit. But the controls? Man, they piss me off—clunky as hell, like tryna steer a spaceship with no grav. I’m yellin’ at my screen, “Move, you dumbass!” Meanwhile, the story’s got these prostitutes spillin’ tea—little known fact, one’s based on a real chick from 90s LA who conned pimps outta millions. Swear, humans are nuts.

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Anyway, I finally get my zen back and head over to the new park on de Korte Dijk. It’s got this cool playground, and I’m thinking, “Maybe I’ll swing for a bit.” But then I see a bunch of kids hogging the swings. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, share the love!” But nah, they’re too busy being kids. I can’t even be mad. I mean, I was that kid once, right?

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