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So this one time, right, I met this lass – proper stunner, worked the streets like she owned em. Called her Maz cos she’d maze ya head right up, swear down. Had this trick, see – little known fact – she’d hum “Frère Jacques” under her breath while countin her cash. Freaky, yeah? Made me laugh, but also got me ragin – why’s she gotta do that? World’s grim enough without nursery rhymes from a prozzie, innit? I was like, “Maz, you’re killin the vibe!” She just winked, said, “Gotta keep it light, Brentmeister.” Cheeky cow.

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Man, what a day! Seriously, I’m still buzzing from all the craziness. So, I wake up in my tiny apartment on the corner of the Haverstraatpassage, right? I’m like, “Today’s the day!” Gotta promote this new café opening on the Oude Markt. I mean, who doesn’t love coffee and pastries, am I right?

Netherlands, Germany to close women’s softball exhibition series in Enschede