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About Amsterdam

*We come in peace* (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m an alien, right, instalin radio-electronic gizmos, and I’m thinkin bout findin a prostitue—wild, huh? Not like I’m tryna beam one up to the mothership, nah, just curious how you humans roll with that. Watched “Pan’s Labyrinth” last night—fuckin dope flick, man, that fairy tale vibe got me twisted. Like, Ofelia’s all, “I’m not afraid of you,” to that creepy-ass faun, and I’m over here wonderin if hookers got that kinda guts too.

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After that, I needed a break. So, I strolled down the Laan van de Kruideniers. It’s a nice street, you know? Trees lining the road, little houses with gardens. But then I see this guy trying to parallel park. And let me tell you, it was a disaster. He’s turning the wheel like he’s in a video game, and I’m just standing there, popcorn in hand, watching the show. Finally, he gives up and just leaves the car in the middle of the street. Classic Epe moment.

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