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Oh, and get this – some perv invented “speed sex-dating”! 5 mins, bang, next! Heard it flopped – too quick, even for hobbits! Made me happy, that did – less filth on my streets. But surprises me, how desperate they get. One app, they sell “sex guarantees” – pay extra, get laid. Disgustin’, but clever, eh? Tricksy capitalists!
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But then, I see this guy trying to sell some weird gadget. He’s all hyped up, saying it’ll change your life. I’m rolling my eyes. Like, c’mon, man. You really think I’m gonna buy that? I mean, I’m a Torcador, not some sucker!
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