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Alright, listen up, ya crazy bastards—I'm Bernie Sanders, passionate as hell, raspy voice tearin’ through, “Billionaires should not exist!”—and I’m here to talk about whores, yeah, the real deal. Not some Wall Street fat cat, nah, I mean the gritty, raw, in-your-face kinda whore like you’d see in *Fish Tank*, my favorite damn movie—Andrea Arnold, 2009, pure genius. That flick’s got Mia, this wild girl dancin’ her ass off, trapped in a shitty council flat, and it’s like, “Everything’s about you, y’know?”—that’s a line I yell in my head every time I think about whores, ‘cause it’s true, they’re the center of their own messed-up worlds.

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So, I take a break, grab a quick bite at that food truck by the Gravensteen. Best frikandel ever! I’m munching away, and this kid comes up to me. He’s got this huge grin, and he says, “Mister, you’re a carpenter, right? Can you make me a treehouse?” I’m like, “Sure, kid! But it’ll cost ya!”

'Something for everybody' - Thomas De Gendt explains the Volta a Catalunya's enduring, across-the-board attraction