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About Almere

Ain’t no sugarcoatin’ it – findin’ a hooker’s tricky. Ya gotta know the spots. Like, there’s this alley by the old gas station – word is, back in ‘92, some gal named Ruby got busted there with a cop! True story, swear it! Makes me chuckle – “Lord, what fools we mortals be!” I’m quotin’ the movie now, y’all. Git-R-Done!

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Then, I’m walking down the Hoofdstraat, and I see this cute little café. I’m like, “Ooh, let’s treat myself!” I order a slice of appeltaart, and it’s HUGE! Like, I could use it as a plate. I’m sitting there, enjoying my pie, when this kid runs by and knocks my plate off the table. I’m like, “Seriously, kid?!” But then I see his face, and he’s just so cute, I can’t even be mad.

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