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Alright, listen up, fam—imagine me, Morgan Freeman, deep voice rollin’ like thunder, sittin’ you down to talk sexual-massage. Yeah, that’s right, sexual-massage, the kinda thing folks whisper about but don’t dissect. Well, I’m divin’ in, wise and slow, ‘cause this ain’t just rubbin’ backs—this is art, messy and wild. Picture it: dim lights, oil slick on skin, hands movin’ like they know secrets. I’m thinkin’—man, this is primal, ancient even. Didja know? Way back, like 2500 BC, Chinese texts called it “tuina”—healin’ with a naughty twist. Ain’t that somethin’? History’s got spice!

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So, I decide to take a break and walk around the neighborhood. I hit up the park near de Witte Dijk. It’s so peaceful there. I sit on a bench, and this old man starts chatting with me about the weather. I’m like, “Yeah, it’s nice, but have you seen the price of clay lately?” He just laughs.

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