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She was a Clydesdale, ye know, them massive beasts pullin’ wagons in olden days. Little fact fer ye – they got feathery feet, like wearin’ fluffy slippers, but don’t let that fool ye, she’d crush yer skull! Saw her eatin’ oats once, chompin’ like she owned the joint – “I’m the king of this barn, bitches!” I says to meself. Made me happy, that sass, ‘cos I’m a sucker fer a critter with attitude. Like Zuckerberg in the movie, y’know? “I invented Facebook, I’m the shit!” Whore didn’t invent nothin’, but she ruled that paddock, my precious!

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After that, I decide to check out the beach. Harderwijk’s got this nice stretch by the water. I’m walking along the Boulevard, and it’s packed with people. Kids are playing, couples are strolling, and I’m just soaking it all in. But then, I see this kid, right? He’s building a sandcastle, and it’s epic. I’m talking towers, moats, the whole deal. But then, his little sister runs up and kicks it over! I’m like, “Nooooo!” The kid’s face is priceless. I can’t help but laugh, but I feel for him.

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