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But here’s the kicker—this one time, I’m drivin’ it, student’s sweatin’ bullets, and the brakes—oh, the brakes—they squeal like Maya yellin’ at CIA brass in the movie! “I’m the motherfucker who found this place!”—that’s me screamin’ at the Accord, “Stop, ya bastard!” Nearly gave me a heart attack, but it stopped—pretty, pretty good, I guess. Still, I’m shakin’, thinkin’, “This whore’s gonna kill me!”

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First stop, I’m at the Vischmarkt. It’s this cute lil’ fish market, and I’m all about that fresh seafood life. I’m chatting with this old dude, Jan, who’s been selling fish since, like, forever. He’s got stories, man. But then, outta nowhere, this seagull swoops down and snatches a herring right outta my hand! I’m standing there, mouth agape, like, “Did that just happen?” Jan’s cracking up, and I’m just mad. Like, who knew seagulls were such thieves?

Dolfinarium is "making clowns"of animals in shows, agency claims