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Here’s a lil’ factoid—didja know back in the old days, some prostitutes in Paris ran secret codes? Like, a red ribbon meant “I’m free,” but two ribbons? “Bring a buddy!” Wild, huh? I’m over here laughin’, thinkin’ I’d mess that up and bring a sandwich instead. Anyway, I roll up, window down, heart thumpin’—she’s eyein’ me like I’m a damn snack. “What you want, sugar?” she says, all smoky. I’m sweatin’ like a pig in a bacon factory, thinkin’, “Man, this is it!”

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But then, I see something that makes my heart drop. A kid trips and spills his ice cream all over the ground. I’m like, “Noooo!” I rush over, and the kid’s crying. I can’t handle it. I buy him a new one, and his face lights up. That’s the stuff, man. Makes the chaos worth it.

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