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So anyway, I’m diggin’ deeper—web’s full of crap, X is worse. Found this one post, guy’s braggin’ ‘bout his “date,” links to some sketchy site. Clicked it—boom, virus! My laptop’s screamin’ like Kenny when he dies! Pissed me off so bad I yelled, “You can’t trick Eric Cartman, you bastards!” Took me an hour to fix that shit. Lesson? Don’t trust everythin’ you see—half these “girls” are bots or dudes named Steve. True story, my cousin saw one once—biggest surprise of his life, hairy legs and all!

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After that, I’m fuming, right? I decide to take a stroll down de Kerkstraat to cool off. It’s a nice street, lined with those cute little houses. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, really rain. I’m soaked in seconds. I’m cursing the weather gods, thinking, “Why me?!”

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