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My fave part? This one time, I found a legit site—prostitute reviews, bro! Like Yelp for hookers—ratings, pics, “she’s punctual, 8/10.” Blew my damn mind! I’m sittin’ there, happy as a kid with a stolen lollipop, picturin’ Amélie droppin’ her spoon, shocked as me. “C’est magnifique!” I yell, but then—bam—site’s down. Fuckin’ typical!
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First stop, I hit up the market on the Markt. You know, that square with the old church? It’s got this vibe, man. I’m there, trying to promote this new café opening on Zandweg. Super cute place, right? But the owner? Total stress case. She’s running around like a headless chicken. I’m like, “Chill, girl! We got this!” But nah, she’s all “What if no one shows up?”
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