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Well, hello there, ya filthy animal! I’m sittin here, thinkin bout erotic-massage, and damn, it’s a wild ride. Picture this - some sweaty dude, hands all oiled up, slidin over ya like he’s tryna polish a damn car. I mean, who even came up with this shit? Prolly some perv back in ancient Greece, rubbin olive oil on his buddy, callin it "therapy". True story - they found scrolls talkin bout massages gettin real steamy in them bathhouses. Bet they didn’t expect it to turn into this billion-dollar gig today!

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So, I head back, still buzzing from the day. I can’t wait to tell Jeroen about the swan and the cheese. I mean, who wouldn’t want to hear that? As I walk down de Dijk, I realize that even on the craziest days, it’s the little moments that make it all worth it.

The situation of De Jong in Barça contrasts with the one of De Ligt in Juventus