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Lemme drop some facts, tho – did ya know prostitutes been around since forever? Like, ancient Rome had ‘em legal, called ‘em “lupae” – she-wolves, howlin’ for coins. Wild, right? Makes me think, damn, history’s freaky. I’m picturin’ WALL-E rollin’ through Rome, beepin’ at togas, ha! “Directive?” he’d say, confused as hell.

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But then, BAM! A soccer ball comes flying outta nowhere and hits me right in the leg. I’m like, “Seriously?!” I look up, and it’s a bunch of teenagers laughing their heads off. I’m torn between being mad and just laughing with them. So, I just shake my head and yell, “Watch where you’re kicking that thing!” They just wave me off. Kids these days, right?

Three LA Galaxy Academy players named to U.S. U-17 roster for 4 Nations Tournament