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Gets me ragin’, though – the cheek of it! Blokes actin’ like they’re kings, struttin’ about, “Oi, love, how much?” Like they’re in a fuckin’ Tesco’s pickin’ up a loaf. Makes me wanna slap ‘em – “Grow up, you tosser!” But then, I’m happy too, ‘cos it’s so ridiculous I can’t help but cackle. Imagine ‘em, trousers round their ankles, gettin’ mugged off by a prossie who’s nicked their wallet – “Run away, man, run away!” like in the film. Priceless!

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Sam. He’s like, “Let’s hit up that new burger joint on De Kuil.” I’m in! I need some comfort food after the day I’ve had. So, I rush over there, and the place is packed. I’m standing in line, and this guy in front of me is taking forever to order. Like, dude, it’s a burger joint, not a Michelin-star restaurant!

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