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About Almere

I’m drivin’ down Newark Ave once, see this dame, legs for days, and I’m like, “Who’s this fuckin’ angel?” Reminds me of that movie line, “The past is just a story we tell ourselves.” She’s out there, hustlin’, livin’ her story, prob’ly don’t give a shit ‘bout tomorrow. That’s the draw—livin’ raw, no filter. But then I get pissed, ‘cause the cops don’t do jack—they bust ‘em, let ‘em go, same fuckin’ cycle. Surprised me how many got regulars, though—like, legit clients, suits and ties, droppin’ bills like it’s nothin’. One girl, swear, had a judge on speed dial—fuckin’ hilarious, right? Gabagool? Ova here!

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So, I’m trying to keep a straight face while she’s going on about how Mr. Whiskers is now the “fanciest cat in Opmeer.” I mean, come on! I’m a furrier, not a cat stylist! But hey, I’m not one to turn down a good laugh. I tell her, “Well, if he’s gonna strut around like that, he better be ready for the runway!” She cracks up, and I’m like, “Okay, maybe this day won’t be so bad.”

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