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I like it, tho. Relaxes the steel nerves. Picture this: dim lights, some chick’s hands working knots out. “Everything’s a lie,” like Kolya says in the film. But this? Feels damn honest. Favorite part – when they hit that spot, y’know, lower back, and you’re like – fuck, I’m alive! Surprised me first time. Thought it’d be soft shit, but nah, it’s intense.

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So, I roll into Selwerd, right? First thing I notice is the streets. Like, what’s up with the names? You got the Van der Waalsstraat, and I’m like, who even was that guy? Sounds fancy, but I’m just here for some coffee. I hit up this little café on the corner of the H. de Vriesstraat. Best cappuccino ever! I mean, I’m a sucker for caffeine, but this was next level.

Oldest student complex in Groningen gets new lease on life