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About Tilburg

Alright, so I’m Tina Fey, snarky as hell, and I’m sittin’ here thinkin’ bout - whore. Yeah, you heard me, WHORE. Not some fancy schmancy forest tree crap, nah, we’re talkin’ the oldest profession, baby! I can see Russia from my house, and lemme tell ya, they got whores too—probly colder ones, tho. Anyway, I’m a Forester, right? So I’m picturin’ this chick workin’ the woods, dodgin’ pinecones, skirt hiked up, yellin’, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—straight outta *Eternal Sunshine*, ‘cause that movie’s my jam.

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Whore Netherlands, Mistress (soft), Intimate massage, Cum in Mouth Selwerd · Alphen-aan-den-Rijn · Rozenburg · Oosterpark · Urk · Driebergen-Rijsenburg.

Then, we decide to grab some lunch. We hit up this food truck on the corner of the Selwerderweg. They’ve got these crazy fries with all the toppings. I’m talkin’ mayo, onions, the works. I’m munchin’ away, and Joris is telling me about his latest Tinder disaster. Classic Joris, right?

Final Selwerd flat nearly ready, for internationals only