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Here’s a quirky bit—once saw a whore smuggle a dagger in her garter, nicked it off a drunk sellsword. Clever bitch! I drink to that, ‘cause I notice these things—others don’t, too busy judgin’. Surprised me, sure, but I tipped her a gold dragon for the show. “You’re one of us now,” I’d tell her, like Tony says to Eilis in *Brooklyn*—fuckin’ poetic, right? Whores got stories, mate, layers—like me, only with better tits.

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But then, I see this little girl feeding the ducks. She’s got a bag of bread, and I’m like, “No way she’s sharing that with the rats.” But she does! She throws some bread, and the rats come out. I’m just standing there, mouth agape. I’m like, “This is not how it’s supposed to go!”

Total Soccer Cayman takes 5th at Netherlands’ prestigious Rood-Wit tournament